RT Kendall uses the Old Testament story of David as a demonstration of the endless mercy and faithfulness of God. Even though he knew he had fallen short of his own standards, let alone God’s, he wrote Psalm 139 with this assurance: Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
The longer you live, the more stories you have. I have so many stories in my life where I have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in a real way. I have sung in worship and felt the Holy Spirit so close, so powerful – I have held my breath wondering what the next moment can hold – the very edge of Heaven. Times I’ve been fearful or heartbroken – I’ve felt the Holy Spirit there too.
Why is it that even though I can see His faithfulness in my life I still have a tendency to feel overwhelmed?!! 2020 has certainly been a year where fear and anxiety have been more commonplace. In my job I talk to many people going through some of the darkest times of their lives. I am sometimes amazed at how quickly I can be absorbed by panic and despair. Guilt for choices I make, regret for mistakes and their consequences. God’s Spirit does not forsake me and yet I can sometimes feel like I’m in a free-fall that robs me of joy… and sleep!
What I have learnt in very recent times is at that moment I need to change my position. The Holy Spirit is the constant – I need to move back. I need to repent and position myself to receive forgiveness, grace, peace, love. I often do this physically – sometimes on my knees, often raising my hands towards Him. He sees my heart but I am a physical being and my body’s response helps me align my will and my spirit to rely on Him to heal the damage caused.
At times we may be tempted to despair. Change position. Remember the stories, tell the stories. Grow your faith and the faith of others – his Spirit has never forsaken you – He will walk with you into all your tomorrows and into eternity.